If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
