I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
