dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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