The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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