What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize