Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Randomize
