I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
