What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
