let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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