CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
