Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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