I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize