I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
