I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
