i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
