I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
