White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
