Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i just had sex bonerless
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
