Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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