his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
