we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
