my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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