Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
