Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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