So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
