I wish I could punch you in the face.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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