I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
