I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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