I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just found puke in my bra..
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
