girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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