Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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