The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
This is my gift to your gina
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
