Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
