Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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