can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
