Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
