i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
