using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
