these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i may or may not be watching the land before time
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
