Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
