Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize