Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
