There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
