Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
