so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
