All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
