I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
