Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize