And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
