I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
