she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
