Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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