she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize