Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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