Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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