I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
