Christians are straight up FREAKS
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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